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post any amusing pics or jokes here...
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Funny stuff...
sheepy


Role

Posts: 10710
Joined: 08 October 2008
Location: Rothwell
Oct 14, 2010 19:46  Trackback URL

post any amusing pics or jokes here...
Starting with:



and



and even



not forgetting



almost done:



but not quite:



fin:



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PockWhite




Posts: 2036
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street




Oct 14, 2010 20:41  Trackback URL

Paddy rings an ambulance for his mate Mick.
"Come quick, my mate Mick is hurt and needs help fast!"
The operator tells Paddy to calm down and asks where he's at?
"104 Eucalyptus Boulevard" says Paddy.
"Can you spell that please" says the operator.
The line goes quiet and the operator says "Hello sir, are you still there?"
A couple of minutes later Paddy comes back on the line, "Right, I've just dragged him to 2 Oak Road!"


  

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Bogdan


Role

Posts: 10140
Joined: 08 October 2008

Oct 14, 2010 22:06  Trackback URL

Pock, that's the best one I've heard in ages!    Thanks for it.

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18longleeds




Posts: 7782
Joined: 24 October 2008
Location: Bingley




Oct 14, 2010 22:46  Trackback URL

some funny stuff   

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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 8993
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End




Oct 15, 2010 10:15  Trackback URL



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PockWhite




Posts: 2036
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street




Oct 15, 2010 10:21  Trackback URL

That is fantastic NW, gets funnier every time I see it!!   

P.S. It's funny right, 'cos I say it's bloody funny right!!   

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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 8993
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End




Oct 15, 2010 12:28  Trackback URL



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onenorthernsoul
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 3234
Joined: 19 December 2008
Location: KEEP FIGHTING!




Oct 15, 2010 12:36  Trackback URL

A good advert for the Welsh folk of Merthyr Tydfil eh, that is brilliant

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Stockport White




Posts: 1620
Joined: 06 December 2009

Oct 15, 2010 22:24  Trackback URL

I was walking down this road and I noticed the houses had strange numbers..64k, 128k, 256k

I was on memory lane



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Lee
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 1622
Joined: 14 December 2008
Location: Wakey




Oct 16, 2010 09:33  Trackback URL


 
Stockport White Trackback URL

I was walking down this road and I noticed the houses had strange numbers..64k, 128k, 256k

I was on memory lane




:-) you never fail to make me chuckle SW.




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PockWhite




Posts: 2036
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street




Oct 21, 2010 14:29  Trackback URL

The recently announced Coalition Government cutbacks have already started to produce a 'couldn't care less' attitude amongst Local Authority employees!
I rang the Council today to see if I could have a skip outside my house?
The bloke on the other end of the phone said "Mate you can cartwheel round the whole f**cking block for all I care!"

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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 8993
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End




Oct 21, 2010 19:46  Trackback URL

I have a pet snail called Charlie, anyway he has become much slower these days so I decided to take his shell off as it was probably too heavy for him. He's just become more sluggish   

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Stockport White




Posts: 1620
Joined: 06 December 2009

Oct 21, 2010 21:32  Trackback URL

  

NW and PW

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sheepy


Role

Posts: 10710
Joined: 08 October 2008
Location: Rothwell
Oct 21, 2010 22:51  Trackback URL

Every morning I return to my allotment and find someone has been mysteriously spreading soil over my crops..... the plot thickens...

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Dronfield White
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 420
Joined: 15 July 2009
Location: Dronfield




Oct 22, 2010 10:02  Trackback URL

For sale. Foul mouthed chimp with own tyre swing,tendency to shag anything, hence £10 o.n.o. Contact A.ferguson@MUFC.COM

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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 8993
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End




Oct 22, 2010 10:27  Trackback URL

Couple on their honeymoon undressing, groom removes his socks and the bride asks what's wrong with your feet your toes are all mangled ? I had tolio as a child, do you mean polio ? No he said I had tolio, the disease only affected my toes. He then takes off his trousers and the bride asks whats wrong with your knees there deformed ? As a child I had kneasles he said, do you mean measles, no kneasles, a strange illness that effected my knees. Groom then removes his under pants and the bride says don't tell me you had smallcox   

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Dronfield White
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 420
Joined: 15 July 2009
Location: Dronfield




Oct 22, 2010 11:05  Trackback URL

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport.

A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for,
thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto:
'We love to fly and it shows'.

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:
'Winning the hearts of the world'.

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto:
'Going beyond expectations'.

The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the f*** do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face – ‘Ryanair’


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garper66




Posts: 1221
Joined: 03 December 2009
Location: North and South of the border




Oct 22, 2010 14:18  Trackback URL

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out the front of his pants. The bar man asks him what it is doing there?

He says I don't know, but it's driving me nuts...

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garper66




Posts: 1221
Joined: 03 December 2009
Location: North and South of the border




Oct 22, 2010 14:26  Trackback URL

Home

That Monkey Will Eat Anything

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, sits down and orders a drink. Shortly after, the monkey starts jumping all over the place and acting crazy. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them... grabs some sliced limes and eats them... then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" "No, what?" says the guy. "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me, he eats everything in sight. Quite an appetite. I'll pay for the cue ball and other things he ate." He the finishes his drink, pays the bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's back at the same bar again, monkey by his side as usual. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did?" "What this time?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures it first!"


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Maplewhite




Posts: 955
Joined: 01 December 2009
Location: Canada




Oct 22, 2010 16:11  Trackback URL

           Now that had me chuckling. Nice one Garper.  

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