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post any amusing pics or jokes here...
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Funny stuff...
18longleeds




Posts: 7782
Joined: 24 October 2008
Location: Bingley




Dec 02, 2010 22:05  Trackback URL

FIFA shortlist for 2026 World Cup looks very interestin:
Timbucktu, Caymen Islands, Narnia and North Pole




Last edited by: 18longleeds - Dec 02, 2010 22:06.
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Mr Russell




Posts: 1737
Joined: 03 December 2009
Location: Championship (or Newcastle NSW Australia)




Dec 02, 2010 22:22  Trackback URL

Has to be Narnia then!!!!

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PockWhite




Posts: 2036
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street




Dec 02, 2010 22:30  Trackback URL

18longleeds Trackback URL

FIFA shortlist for 2026 World Cup looks very interestin:
Timbucktu, Caymen Islands, Narnia and North Pole



No chance there, they're bound to be frozen out!!     

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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 8993
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End




Dec 05, 2010 21:31  Trackback URL



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Stockport White




Posts: 1620
Joined: 06 December 2009

Dec 07, 2010 21:15  Trackback URL

Weather forecast predicted 'lots of snow , good time for sledging'

OK.

'Ricky Ponting is a w@nker, is a w@nker'

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PockWhite




Posts: 2036
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street




Dec 10, 2010 15:19  Trackback URL

A hooker has just told me I could have sex with her for £10, as she didn't have a womb!
I asked where we would do it then?
She said "Acwoss the woad against the wailings!"



  

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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 8993
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End




Dec 13, 2010 11:51  Trackback URL

Ashley Peacock is being buried tonight and Claire his wife wants him to wear the new top from his favourite football team, Tram Near Rovers   

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18longleeds




Posts: 7782
Joined: 24 October 2008
Location: Bingley




Dec 13, 2010 11:58  Trackback URL

  quality stuff

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PockWhite




Posts: 2036
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street




Dec 20, 2010 18:19  Trackback URL

Attention fellow LUFCTALK members, I need your advice!!

I've just been offered 8 legs of venison for £40.

My question "Is that two deer?"




  

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PockWhite




Posts: 2036
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street




Dec 20, 2010 18:20  Trackback URL

sorry double post



Last edited by: PockWhite - Dec 20, 2010 18:22.
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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 8993
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End




Dec 22, 2010 08:59  Trackback URL

Was walking to work this morning and a council lorry was throwing salt onto the roads and a load went into my face. Bastard I said through gritted teeth   

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Dronfield White
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 420
Joined: 15 July 2009
Location: Dronfield




Dec 22, 2010 10:27  Trackback URL

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at Heathrow. A beautiful
woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.
He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off duty
flight attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by
identifying the airline she flies for thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto: " We love to
fly and it shows ".
The woman looks at him blankly.
He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: "Winning the
hearts of the world".
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again , this time saying the Malaysian Airlines
motto: "Going beyond expectations".
The wo man looks at him sternly and says;
" What the f**k do you want?"

"Ah!" he says, sitting back with a smile on his face, “Ryanair”!!!


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Bogdan


Role

Posts: 10140
Joined: 08 October 2008

Dec 22, 2010 13:43  Trackback URL

Bear attack in Russia (be patient, watch till the end, sound preferably be on)



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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 8993
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End




Dec 22, 2010 19:36  Trackback URL



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Jeje-58




Posts: 739
Joined: 17 June 2010
Location: Back in Burgundy...




Dec 22, 2010 20:46  Trackback URL

bogdan Trackback URL

Bear attack in Russia (be patient, watch till the end, sound preferably be on)




I don't know why, but I'm sure that the end doesn't have any link with the bear     

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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 8993
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End




Dec 24, 2010 12:15  Trackback URL

Last night I tried to go out for an Italian meal but there was a huge fat woman standing in the doorway.


I couldn't get pasta.   




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Dronfield White
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 420
Joined: 15 July 2009
Location: Dronfield




Dec 24, 2010 12:25  Trackback URL

The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. ‘Jesus Christ!’ he exclaimed.

Joseph said, ‘Write that down, Mary; it's better than Clyde!’

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Dronfield White
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 420
Joined: 15 July 2009
Location: Dronfield




Dec 24, 2010 12:27  Trackback URL

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

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Bogdan


Role

Posts: 10140
Joined: 08 October 2008

Dec 25, 2010 22:38  Trackback URL

When 4 of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that 3 of them were about to give birth and 2 others had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug and broke it into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the floor. he went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then, the doorbell rang and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open and there stood a little angel with a big Christmas tree.

The angel said cheerfully,"Merry Christmas, Santa! Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you.Where would you like me to stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

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Maplewhite




Posts: 955
Joined: 01 December 2009
Location: Canada




Dec 29, 2010 18:35  Trackback URL

An Australian aboriginal woman is giving birth in the village she was born and raised. After many hours of labour, the midwives hold up a baby that is white for all to see. The nearest white man is a rancher who lives a few miles away so off set the inhabitants of the village to claim justice for what they can only assume has happened.
They find him in his house, drag him out and tie him to a post in the yard. Just as they complete this task, the crowd parts for their chief who caught up with them to find out what is going on.
After the story is told to him, he tells the rancher why he is about to be punished.
'But that doesn't mean anything," the rancher tells the chief." I have white sheep on my farm and this summer one of my ewes gave birth to a black sheep and there aren't any black sheep for miles around."
The wise chief gave this some thought, then turned to his tribe and told them what the rancher had just said.
After the crowd started to leave, the chief untied the rancher and whispered to him," Ok you keep your secret, i'll keep mine...."

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