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Funny stuff...
Maplewhite




Posts: 955
Joined: 01 December 2009
Location: Canada




Oct 22, 2010 20:05  Trackback URL

A man rushes home, opens the front door of his house and shouts to his wife "Pack your bags baby, I just won the lottery!!! All $10 million of it!"
"That's great, honey!", she replies, "Do I pack for skiing or the beach?"
"Who cares," he replies, "Just get out!"





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Marcin




Posts: 10
Joined: 26 October 2010

Oct 28, 2010 01:59  Trackback URL

The best.   





Last edited by: Marcin - Oct 28, 2010 01:59.
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18longleeds

Online Now!



Posts: 7685
Joined: 24 October 2008
Location: Bingley




Oct 28, 2010 21:07  Trackback URL

that is quality seen it before like , never gets old , unlike some on here   

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sheepy


Role

Posts: 10392
Joined: 08 October 2008
Location: Rothwell
Oct 28, 2010 22:48  Trackback URL

I like one liners, this is my current favourite:

'They don't watch the 'Flintstones' in Saudi Arabi but Abu Dhabi do..'

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sheepy


Role

Posts: 10392
Joined: 08 October 2008
Location: Rothwell
Oct 28, 2010 22:57  Trackback URL




This is genius, Alan Partridge at his very best   


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bogdan


Role

Posts: 9902
Joined: 08 October 2008

Oct 28, 2010 23:07  Trackback URL

Only just discovered this, but I think it's excellent. There's the whole of last season series on youtube and it's short episodes too.







Last edited by: bogdan - Oct 28, 2010 23:09.
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Donkyjote
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 1758
Joined: 17 February 2010
Location: Spain




Oct 30, 2010 12:11  Trackback URL

Tom lands in China the night before a big meeting with a chinese businessman.

After checking in at the hotel, he decides to go out for a drink. After about 5 minutes walking down the street he comes to a bar that looks good and goes in. After ordering a drink a girl comes up to him and asks him if he wants a special massage. He thinks sure why not and goes off with the girl.
Soon the massage turns into a full romp & as he´s doing the business the girl starts to scream,
"Hikey hikey! Hikey Hikey!"
As Tom doesnt know any Chinese, he assumes she´s telling him to do it harder, harder, so he does.
However she still screams "Hikey hikey! hikey hikey!"
so he starts doing it as hard as he can to please his little chinese girl.

The next day the business meeting is being held down on the golf course while playing a round of golf.
On the par 3, 4th hole, Tom tees off and gets a hole-in-one and in his excitement starts jumping around & shouting the only chinese he knows; "Hikey hikey! Hikey hikey"
To which the chinese man says to him: "What do you mean... "Wrong Hole?"

 

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PockWhite




Posts: 2009
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street




Oct 30, 2010 12:46  Trackback URL

My wife has just texted me to say that she thinks I'm quite immature for my age and that we should set aside some time for us to talk, adult to adult as it were!

I texted her back to say, yeah like that's gonna happen during the conker season!

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Stockport White




Posts: 1616
Joined: 06 December 2009

Oct 30, 2010 20:47  Trackback URL

Donkyjote Trackback URL

Tom lands in China the night before a big meeting with a chinese businessman.

After checking in at the hotel, he decides to go out for a drink. After about 5 minutes walking down the street he comes to a bar that looks good and goes in. After ordering a drink a girl comes up to him and asks him if he wants a special massage. He thinks sure why not and goes off with the girl.
Soon the massage turns into a full romp & as he´s doing the business the girl starts to scream,
"Hikey hikey! Hikey Hikey!"
As Tom doesnt know any Chinese, he assumes she´s telling him to do it harder, harder, so he does.
However she still screams "Hikey hikey! hikey hikey!"
so he starts doing it as hard as he can to please his little chinese girl.

The next day the business meeting is being held down on the golf course while playing a round of golf.
On the par 3, 4th hole, Tom tees off and gets a hole-in-one and in his excitement starts jumping around & shouting the only chinese he knows; "Hikey hikey! Hikey hikey"
To which the chinese man says to him: "What do you mean... "Wrong Hole?"

 


  

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bogdan


Role

Posts: 9902
Joined: 08 October 2008

Oct 31, 2010 16:59  Trackback URL



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Lee
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 1610
Joined: 14 December 2008
Location: Wakey




Oct 31, 2010 18:45  Trackback URL



Oldie but goody.



Last edited by: Lee - Oct 31, 2010 18:49.
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Lee
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 1610
Joined: 14 December 2008
Location: Wakey




Oct 31, 2010 18:52  Trackback URL

Someones sig on waccoe. never fails to make me chuckle.





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bogdan


Role

Posts: 9902
Joined: 08 October 2008

Oct 31, 2010 18:52  Trackback URL

Oh my effin god, I didn't know that got international status. The guy in the video is actually a Romanian numnut, apparently driving on a motorway in Belgium (if I remember it right). I think they tracked him down to suspend his license after this became public.

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Donkyjote
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 1758
Joined: 17 February 2010
Location: Spain




Nov 01, 2010 10:58  Trackback URL

My GF drives like that woman jejeje....

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Donkyjote
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 1758
Joined: 17 February 2010
Location: Spain




Nov 01, 2010 11:47  Trackback URL

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.

Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'

___________________________________________

A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my
intelligence come from?'

The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,
cause I still have mine.'
___________________________________________

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and
then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

___________________________________________

A doctor examining a woma n who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,
took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife
at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really
good with the kids.'



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18longleeds

Online Now!



Posts: 7685
Joined: 24 October 2008
Location: Bingley




Nov 01, 2010 12:25  Trackback URL

     liking em

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Stockport White




Posts: 1616
Joined: 06 December 2009

Nov 01, 2010 20:47  Trackback URL

  
Donkyjote

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Stockport White




Posts: 1616
Joined: 06 December 2009

Nov 01, 2010 23:04  Trackback URL

On your PC - go to Google Maps - Get Directions - Put Japan in 1st box - Then China in the 2nd box - Then get the results - scroll down to No. 43

  

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The Johnson
LUFCTALK MODERATOR




Posts: 3043
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Auckland


Nov 02, 2010 05:35  Trackback URL

Stockport White Trackback URL

On your PC - go to Google Maps - Get Directions - Put Japan in 1st box - Then China in the 2nd box - Then get the results - scroll down to No. 43

  


Haha, this made me burst out laughing in the middle of music class. Quality stuff.

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Dronfield White
LUFCTALK Sponsor




Posts: 420
Joined: 15 July 2009
Location: Dronfield




Nov 02, 2010 10:50  Trackback URL

The Johnson Trackback URL

Stockport White Trackback URL

On your PC - go to Google Maps - Get Directions - Put Japan in 1st box - Then China in the 2nd box - Then get the results - scroll down to No. 43

  


Haha, this made me burst out laughing in the middle of music class. Quality stuff.


Brilliant

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