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Posts: 4258
Joined: 08 December 2008
Location: Ramsey, Cambridgeshire
Jun 09, 2011 23:30
In my defence, I have to admit that I did offer a thick envelope & the contents were actually 3 unused condoms which I don’t have a need for anymore.
Needless to say my application to become a mod was approved.
Posts: 955
Joined: 01 December 2009
Location: Canada
Jun 10, 2011 16:33
Degree in communications?? Now that is a laugh! He probably got it via a correspondence course.
So this site has now gone to the dogs. Used condoms will buy pride and a position of moderator.
No chance for those who don't require the needs of a prophylactic then. Where's the fairness in that then?
Posts: 8687
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
Jun 17, 2011 10:16
Peter Beardsley is the latest footballer linked to another super injunction. Apparently the girl he has been having an affair with doesn't want naming.
If I don't like the shape of the swastika does that make me anti-symmetric ?
Posts: 8687
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
Jun 20, 2011 22:57
Went down to my allotment last weekend to find somebody had dumped 2 inches of soil all over it. Went there again yesterday and the same thing happened. The plot thickens
Posts: 8687
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
Jun 27, 2011 22:47
A bit rude so if you are young or a tad offended do not scroll down
Billy was watching TV then comes downstairs and asks "Dad whats love juice?" His father looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex and why a womans vagina gets wet.Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.Dad asks "So what were you watching?" Billy replies "Wimbledon"
Posts: 2010
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street
Jun 30, 2011 20:09
My Daughter in Law has just sent "me" this text!!
Texting for Seniors.
The kids have all their little SMS codes...like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes for Seniors.
ATD - At the Doctors
BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On
TTYL - Talk to You Louder
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
Posts: 8687
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
Jul 07, 2011 13:47
From Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some of the guests complaints.
1. I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.
2. Its lazy of the local shop keepers to close in the afternoons. I often need to buy things during siesta time - this should be banned.
3. On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry, I don't like spicy food.
4. We booked an excursion to a water park but no one told us we had to bring our own swimming costumes and towels.
5. A tourist at a top African game lodge over looking a watering hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the site of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate"
6. A woman threatened to call the police after claiming she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
7. The beach is too sandy.
8. We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure, your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.
9. Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.
10. We bought Ray-Ban sunglasses for $7 from a street trader only to find out later they were fakes.
11. The was no egg slicer in the apartment.
12. We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.
13. The roads were uneven.
14. It took us 9 hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took our American friends 3 hours.
15. I compared the size of our one bedroomed apartment to our friends three bedded and ours was significantly smaller.
16. The brochure stated no hairdressers at the hotel, we are just trainee hairdressers-will we be OK staying there.
17. We had to queue out side with no air conditioning.
18. It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests.
19. I was bittern by a mosquito no one said that they bit.
20. My fiance and I booked a twin room but we were placed in a double bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I am now pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room we booked.
They walk amongst us and they are at liberty to vote. Be afraid! Be very afraid!
Now that is a laugh! He probably got it via a correspondence course. 
Used condoms will buy pride and a position of moderator. 
