NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 8777
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
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Aug 09, 2012 19:38
Don't think I have a speech impediment but I can't say for sure 
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Selby White
Posts: 280
Joined: 25 March 2012
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Aug 09, 2012 21:33
The Green Thing
In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."
He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.
In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.
When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
but she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.
We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
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bogdan
Posts: 9991
Joined: 08 October 2008
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Aug 09, 2012 21:48
Selby White
No, not really. 
To make this half serious, I'm not sure how relevant it is to boast about only having one TV in the olden days - that single tube set most likely took up more power than a room full of gadgets that you'd find in a house today, and it was most likely power generated through dirty, inefficient coal plants.
This green thing? No, they didn't really have it. 
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dlw10
Posts: 1220
Joined: 14 September 2011
Location: Stoke on Trent
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Aug 09, 2012 22:00
bogdan
Selby White
No, not really.
To make this half serious, I'm not sure how relevant it is to boast about only having one TV in the olden days - that single tube set most likely took up more power than a room full of gadgets that you'd find in a house today, and it was most likely power generated through dirty, inefficient coal plants.
This green thing? No, they didn't really have it.
I loved that Selby...and laughed nearly as loud as at PockWhite's golf story! At the end of stressful day I needed that!
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cadillacjukebox
LUFCTALK Sponsor
Posts: 1500
Joined: 30 October 2008
Location: Leeds
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Aug 10, 2012 09:20
From today's Daily Mash
here be dragons
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johnh
LUFCTALK Sponsor
Posts: 956
Joined: 24 January 2012
Location: maidenhead berkshire
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Aug 10, 2012 12:37
Selby White
Really enjoyed that post, it brought back so many memories.
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Davycc
Posts: 956
Joined: 03 August 2011
Location: Location: Antrim, Co Antrim
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Aug 10, 2012 21:47
PockWhite
Just had this texted to me:-
Due to the current severe water shortgages in Northern Ireland, Belfast swimming baths have just announced that, as a water saving measure, they will until further notice, be closing lanes 7 & 8!
I have just found this...pricless brilliant. 
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Davycc
Posts: 956
Joined: 03 August 2011
Location: Location: Antrim, Co Antrim
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Aug 10, 2012 21:48
What happened there lol
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cadillacjukebox
LUFCTALK Sponsor
Posts: 1500
Joined: 30 October 2008
Location: Leeds
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Aug 10, 2012 22:20
Davycc
What happened there lol
premature mousejaculation?
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Davycc
Posts: 956
Joined: 03 August 2011
Location: Location: Antrim, Co Antrim
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Aug 10, 2012 23:06
cadillacjukebox
Davycc
What happened there lol
premature mousejaculation?
Ahh, the story of my life.... 
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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 8777
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
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Aug 12, 2012 15:36
I was telling my mate, "After having a lower limb amputated, my dad's started to make his own home brew. He only uses the finest barley, yeast and water."
"And hops?" he said.
"Of course. He's lost a leg."
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Pecky10
Posts: 2774
Joined: 28 December 2011
Location: New shirt? No chance! Bought a whole new house last time!
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Aug 13, 2012 14:58
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is the latest big name to pull out of the England Squad......
......Joe Hart is the favourite to be the smallest name to pull out of the England squad 
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johnh
LUFCTALK Sponsor
Posts: 956
Joined: 24 January 2012
Location: maidenhead berkshire
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Aug 13, 2012 15:31
Pecky10
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is the latest big name to pull out of the England Squad......
......Joe Hart is the favourite to be the smallest name to pull out of the England squad
Many years ago there was a football trivia question: who had the shortest name in British football. The answer was Ian Ure. Scottish player, can't remember who he played for in Scotland but I think he played down here for Arsenal.
PS Does Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain give many autographs?
Last edited by: johnh
- Aug 13, 2012 15:52.
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bogdan
Posts: 9991
Joined: 08 October 2008
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Aug 13, 2012 22:34
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bogdan
Posts: 9991
Joined: 08 October 2008
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Aug 14, 2012 23:53
The last person to question my masculinity got a face-full of piping hot lavender tea.
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Davycc
Posts: 956
Joined: 03 August 2011
Location: Location: Antrim, Co Antrim
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Aug 15, 2012 00:03
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sheepy
Posts: 10537
Joined: 08 October 2008
Location: Rothwell
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Aug 17, 2012 08:11
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+15
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 3708
Joined: 28 June 2010
Location: We all love a Mc D
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Aug 17, 2012 13:00
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rigger
Posts: 257
Joined: 07 October 2010
Location: Southampton, England
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Aug 17, 2012 16:53
Don't know if any of you read The Guardian online, but one of the best things about any newspaper in the internet age is the comments section at the foot of most articles.
There's been two absolute pearlers this week from the same guy, Doleywino, who has a certain style of writing that I really enjoy.
Both posts stand alone, so without further ado, here they are:
The reference to West Ham's halcyon days reminds me of when I was a young boy in the 1980s. My uncle Rod had organised a charity match at Upton Park between a West Ham XI and a showbiz XI. Fixtures such as this could be a bit of a let-down in terms of the calibre of "celebrity" who showed up on the day, but uncle Rod was a bit of a celebrity himself - he lived in LA and hung out with film stars, so we had high hopes. My younger sister was especially excited as she was a big fan of the Breakfast Club and St Elmo's Fire movies, and hoped she might get the chance to meet her idols. Uncle Rod said he'd see what he could do!
Uncle Rod kept to his word and off we went to East London in our trusty mustard-coloured Austin Maxi. It was a sunny day and a big crowd had turned out for the game. I can't remember all the players but somehow uncle Rod had persuaded Kiefer Sutherland and Rob Lowe to turn out at centre half, with Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez either side in defence. Wow!
It was a great game, but better was to come. Afterwards we met up with uncle Rod, and he took me and my sister into the changing room to meet the showbiz team. We'd never seen anything like it - the showers and baths and fittings were all black marble. The stars obligingly agreed to sign autographs but, as Charlie Sheen reached for the pen, disaster! - he carelessly allowed his towel to slip to the black marble floor of the changing room. "That's Charlie Sheen's bum!" she whispered. It's a happy memory.
... sorry, I think I'm having a bratpack-fullback-slapdash-crackflash-matt-black-splashback-flashback.
The reference to Wigan's halcyon days reminds me of my younger days in a band in the 1990s. We were booked to play a Saturday night at a venue called the Beer Engine in Wigan. On the day I loaded my drum-kit into my dad's trusty mustard-coloured Austin Maxi and set off up the M6.
I arrived at the venue about 6.30pm to find that the event at which we were to play was a beer and pie festival. Wow! It had obviously been in full swing all day. The floor of the gents' toilets was flooded to about an inch deep from overflowing urinals, but this did not deter three big guys in Wigan football shirts from having a press-up competition in the middle of it. It was going to be an interesting evening.
I met up with our singer Tom and we went to look at the festival. It was in a very big function room. All the beer was racked up in barrels along the long side wall, and at the back of the room were the pies; at the front of the room was the stage. We set our gear up, and then tucked into the beer. They had Hop Back Summer Lightning - my favourite! - which I accompanied with an excellent spicy chicken and mushy pea pie.
The gig was memorable. The room was packed with pissed-up Wiganites. Our set was going down well but a big fight broke out. Beer and pies were flying. Momentarily we stopped playing. Our singer Tom shouted "go for the medley!" We knew what we had to do. We turned the volume up and went into a Syd Barrett song, segued into a Boomtown Rats chart-topper, then a Beatles hit and finally the song "Tribute" by Tenacious D. By this time the fight had stopped and people were dancing on the tables. We hit the last chord and Tom left his guitar against the amplifier, with the inevitable ear-piercing result. It's a happy memory.
... sorry, I think I'm having a Hopback-hot-snack-Madcap-Rat Trap-Get Back-Jack Black-feedback-flashback.
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sheepy
Posts: 10537
Joined: 08 October 2008
Location: Rothwell
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Aug 18, 2012 00:08
One of the young girls was trying to describe a tattoo that a male friend had who she had the hots for.
Unfortunately she could not think of the word for cherubs:
And much to the amusement of the rest of us, described him as having tattoos of little boys on his thighs.
Which paints a completely different person to the rugby playing tough guy she was trying to describe
Last edited by: sheepy
- Aug 18, 2012 00:08.
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