PockWhite
Posts: 2009
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street
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Feb 02, 2011 22:28
'Ventriloquist without a dummy!' Made me smile anyway, hope you enjoy it!
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/f...mmy-p1.php
Last edited by: PockWhite
- Feb 02, 2011 22:39.
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RamseyWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 4258
Joined: 08 December 2008
Location: Ramsey, Cambridgeshire
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Feb 03, 2011 23:13
'Made you smile' Pock!
I nearly spat out my Calloway Crossing, Shiraz watching that.
Great clip 
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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 8682
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
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Feb 06, 2011 16:53
Very funny clip Pock, cheers enjoyed that 
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Dronfield White
LUFCTALK Sponsor
Posts: 420
Joined: 15 July 2009
Location: Dronfield
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Feb 07, 2011 12:15
A Bloke at the races whispers to his mate, "Paddy do you want the winner of the next race", Paddy says "No thanks i have only got a small garden" !!
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garper66
Posts: 1201
Joined: 03 December 2009
Location: North and South of the border
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Feb 07, 2011 13:58
Missus is pissed off again.
Last night when she was asleep I swapped her tampon for a party popper.
No sense of humour! that woman 
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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 8682
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
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Feb 07, 2011 15:04
The Egyptian Government have come up with a plan to stop the riots in Cairo. They've told their people to get in their cars, honk the horn and just chill out. There calling it "Toot and Kalm-Doon
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sheepy
Posts: 10392
Joined: 08 October 2008
Location: Rothwell
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Feb 08, 2011 11:08
Just been offered a job for £800 a week by a bloke from the Brittle Bones Society.
Snapped his f***ing hand off!
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PockWhite
Posts: 2009
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street
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Feb 08, 2011 12:09
Oh dear, am I in trouble with the wife now!
We were in bed last night and she asked me what I would like to do most with her body?
Apparently "Identify it" wasn't the right answer..........
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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 8682
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
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Feb 09, 2011 19:19
After Blackpool were fined £250k for fielding a weak team against Aston Villa. Sheffield United have announced they have sent a cheque to FA Headquarters for £1 Million to cover the rest of the season
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bogdan
Posts: 9902
Joined: 08 October 2008
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Feb 09, 2011 20:52
I got caught stealing full stops.
I'm looking at a lengthy sentence.
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PockWhite
Posts: 2009
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street
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Feb 09, 2011 21:24
My Chinese mate had a girlfriend named Lorraine, but he was cheating on her with another girl called Claire Leigh.
Unfortunately Lorraine died.
At her funeral he stood up and sang a eulogy that went like this, "I can see Claire Leigh now Lorraine has gone"
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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 8682
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
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Feb 10, 2011 23:47
Have you ever been injured ?
Ever had a car accident ?
Fell over on a wet floor at work ?
Or tripped on an uneven surface ?
If so.....
Sort yourself out you clumsy git
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Stockport White
Posts: 1616
Joined: 06 December 2009
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Feb 17, 2011 20:01
Just had an email reply from Screwfix.
Apparently they're not a dating agency.
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PockWhite
Posts: 2009
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street
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Feb 17, 2011 21:10
I was in the pub with the Mrs last night and I said "I love you!"
She said "Is that you or the beer talking?"
I replied "It's me, talking to the beer!"
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PockWhite
Posts: 2009
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street
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Feb 20, 2011 21:08
The Pope is blessing sick children in Liverpool.
Billy asks "Can you help with my hearing?"
The Pope puts his hands on Billy's ears and prays, removes his hands and says "How is your hearing now my son?"
Billy says "I don't know it's not until next Wednesday!"
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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 8682
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
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Feb 21, 2011 19:31
I've just bought a litre pot of tippex off Ebay, could be a big mistake
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NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK MODERATOR
Posts: 8682
Joined: 11 November 2009
Location: Born in The Gelderd End
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Feb 25, 2011 13:31
According to the Irish what do 4 trees make ?
12
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PockWhite
Posts: 2009
Joined: 21 January 2010
Location: 54 Canal Street
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Feb 25, 2011 13:41
Been doing a bit of that genealogy stuff recently, looking into my family history and all that.
I found out that my great Grandad was half Irish and half Chinese!
Always wondered why he was called Pat Noodle?
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bogdan
Posts: 9902
Joined: 08 October 2008
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Feb 26, 2011 18:28
If you're always organizing things, you have OCD. If you're always eating things, you have OBCD.
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Charian
Posts: 202
Joined: 22 February 2011
Location: Scotland
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Feb 26, 2011 19:34
sheepy
Every morning I return to my allotment and find someone has been mysteriously spreading soil over my crops..... the plot thickens...
this isnt a joke, im practsing how to reply to a quote, this was the best place to do it cos i keep doin it in the middle of a heated debate! hope this works...........
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