The funny corner

The place to discuss anything that isn't football or LUFC
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PockWhite
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Re: The funny corner

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My wife says she's leaving me because I always talk like a newsreader.

More on that story later....
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

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Thought I was on The Voice this morning. I farted on the bus & 4 people turned around.
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daib0
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Re: The funny corner

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PockWhite wrote:My best mate and I opened a shared bank account for buying weed. It'll be our joint account.
wasn't that the two butchers as well?! :D
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

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PockWhite
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Re: The funny corner

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I've just bought the swingers edition of Cluedo.
Apparently, they all did it, in every room?
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daib0
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Re: The funny corner

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daib0
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Re: The funny corner

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The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.,,


------------------------------------------------------



The wife was getting dressed up for a night out with her mates, walked into the lounge and asked me to rate her.

"8 or 9 at least." I said.

"Out of 10?" she smiled. "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered."

Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints!
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daib0
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Re: The funny corner

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I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.

I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her ass. You know the kind. So I'm in my room and figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is ...sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring all your implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.We'll go hot and heavy all night Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic, but ....for an outside line you need to press 9."
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

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Re: The funny corner

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