The funny corner

The place to discuss anything that isn't football or LUFC
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

It’s just cost me a pound that’s one whole English pound to put some air in my tyres. Used to be twenty pence, suppose that’s inflation for you.
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johnh
Bielsa's English Teacher
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Joined: 24 Jan 2012, 15:26

Re: The funny corner

Post by johnh »

What do you say to someone struggling with grammar? There, their, they're.
I once played against Don Revie.
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ChilwellWhite
Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
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Joined: 29 Dec 2014, 18:12

Re: The funny corner

Post by ChilwellWhite »

Started a new job at the Samaritans last week.
Tried to ring in sick this morning & they talked me out of it!
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ChilwellWhite
Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
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Re: The funny corner

Post by ChilwellWhite »

A fancy sports car pulled up next to me driven by a sheep in a swimsuit, turned out it was a lamb bikini
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

I never had a good school report, so you can imagine how happy I was when HM revenue and customs got in touch to tell me my tax returns were outstanding.
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

Bloke goes into the electric shop and says ‘I need a battery so I can tell the time’

Assistant says ‘Is it for a clock?’

‘I don’t know’ says the bloke ‘that’s why I need a battery’
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yorkfan
Simon Grayson's Hairdresser
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Joined: 13 Jul 2015, 14:26

Re: The funny corner

Post by yorkfan »

Pinched both of these. :clap:
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ChilwellWhite
Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
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Re: The funny corner

Post by ChilwellWhite »

I’m slowly getting over my obsession with Tipperary but there's a long way to go!
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

A lawer representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client, “John, I have some good news and some bad news”.

The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first”

The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me she invested £5,000 in two pictures and that she thinks will bring a minimum of £15-20 million. I think she could be right”

John replied enthusiastically, “Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You’ve made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad new. What is it?”

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you naked with your secretary”
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ChilwellWhite
Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
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Joined: 29 Dec 2014, 18:12

Re: The funny corner

Post by ChilwellWhite »

Nicked that ^
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