The funny corner

[yorkfan]

A nun is being given driving lessons by the Mother Superior.

As she's driving along, a massive ball of fire erupts from the road ahead, from which the Devil appears.

“Do not fear, my child, do an emergency stop!” instructs the Mother Superior.

The Nun applies progressive braking, whilst increasing her grip on the wheel, depresses the clutch, applies the handbrake and checks mirrors and blind spots.

“Perfect!”, says Mother Superior, "Now show the Devil your cross”

The nun winds down the window, raises her middle finger and shouts "Get out of the road you feckin’ idiot!"

[yorkfan]

It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few local businesses as a result of COVID-19.

A local bra manufacturer has gone bust, a submarine company has gone under, a manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers and a company supplying paper for origami enthusiasts has folded.

Local strip club has gone tits up,Interflora is pruning its business and Dyno-rod has gone down the drain.

The saddest one though is the ice cream van man found dead covered in nuts and raspberry sauce. He coulnd’t take it any more and topped himself.

[ChilwellWhite]

Journalist asked Arnold Schwarzenegger "What's your favourite religious holiday?"
Arnie smiled, took a bite out of a chocolate egg and replied
"Have to love Easter baby!! "

[Deleted User 5081]

Well, That's me in Hospital

This has not been a good morning. After spending the last two weeks quarantined inside the house, I decided to go horseback riding, something I haven't done in many years. It turned out to be a horrible big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, but then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the saddle stirrup, the horse was then dragging me. The horse just would not stop.
Thankfully the manager at Tesco's came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins off me so I wouldn't try to ride the Elephant...
How many of you actually read what I wrote?

We certainly need a laugh

[kk white]

Nice one Corky

[yorkfan]

Pinched that one, Corky.

[NottinghamWhite]

Sunday:Greg, Monday:Ian,
Tuesday:Greg, Wednesday:Ian, Thursday:Greg, Friday:Ian, Saturday:Greg.
It's a Gregorian Calendar...

[Deleted User 728]

[johnh]

Young lad asks his mother 'why are wedding dresses always white'. Mother says, 'it denotes the purity of the bride'. Young lad then goes and asks the same question of his Dad. His dad says 'well all domestic appliances come in white'.

[Deleted User 728]

Young lad asks his mother 'why are wedding dresses always white'. Mother says, 'it denotes the purity of the bride'. Young lad then goes and asks the same question of his Dad. His dad says 'well all domestic appliances come in white'.