The funny corner

The place to discuss anything that isn't football or LUFC
User avatar
yorkfan
Simon Grayson's Hairdresser
Posts: 519
Joined: 13 Jul 2015, 14:26

Re: The funny corner

Post by yorkfan »

Image
User avatar
yorkfan
Simon Grayson's Hairdresser
Posts: 519
Joined: 13 Jul 2015, 14:26

Re: The funny corner

Post by yorkfan »

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness.

I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it”.



I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator.



I thought growing old would take longer.



People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.
User avatar
NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK Admin
Posts: 31307
Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10

Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

Breaking news Neymar signs for Newcastle United at the 12th hour of deadline day.

Neymar defenders, Neymar midfielders & Neymar forwards.
Winner of the Europa League
User avatar
yorkfan
Simon Grayson's Hairdresser
Posts: 519
Joined: 13 Jul 2015, 14:26

Re: The funny corner

Post by yorkfan »

Stealing that one! :lol:
User avatar
Wigan White
Arthur Fairclough's milliner
Posts: 2756
Joined: 05 Aug 2011, 13:19
Location: Wigan

Re: The funny corner

Post by Wigan White »

Sad news at the Nestlé factory today when a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than fifty feet and crushed him underneath.

He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "the milky bar's are on me", everybody cheered.
Davycc
LUFCTALK Moderator
Posts: 15076
Joined: 03 Aug 2011, 18:09
Location: Location Location

Re: The funny corner

Post by Davycc »

Wigan White wrote:Sad news at the Nestlé factory today when a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than fifty feet and crushed him underneath.

He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "the milky bar's are on me", everybody cheered.
Stolen :clap:
All at Amazon Books

The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
User avatar
johnh
Bielsa's English Teacher
Posts: 8522
Joined: 24 Jan 2012, 15:26

Re: The funny corner

Post by johnh »

Ryanair announce a four hour delay to a flight. Guy goes up to the desk and asks why. Receptionist says that the pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine and it will take us four hours to find a pilot who can't hear it.
I once played against Don Revie.
User avatar
cheffy007
Jimmy Armfield's cardigan knitter
Posts: 1308
Joined: 01 Jan 2012, 20:49
Location: Too far south of God's own Country

Re: The funny corner

Post by cheffy007 »

I spotted an albino Dalmation this morning, it was the least I could do for him.
For homemade pickles, chutneys and tomato ketchup, go to www.stuckinapickle.co.uk
User avatar
Wigan White
Arthur Fairclough's milliner
Posts: 2756
Joined: 05 Aug 2011, 13:19
Location: Wigan

Re: The funny corner

Post by Wigan White »

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
User avatar
NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK Admin
Posts: 31307
Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10

Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

Bono and Edge walk into a bar. The barman says, "Not U2 again!"
Winner of the Europa League
Post Reply