The funny corner

The place to discuss anything that isn't football or LUFC
Davycc
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Re: The funny corner

Post by Davycc »

Found this lady on YouTube whilst searching something totally unrelated. May appeal to us older folk, I found her quite funny.

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The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine. The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan!"
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

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My wife bought a new oven glove in a bright yellow colour. I kept making puns about it, and now she's not talking to me...
I probably did take it too far, I mustard mitt!
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ChilwellWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by ChilwellWhite »

NottinghamWhite wrote:My wife bought a new oven glove in a bright yellow colour. I kept making puns about it, and now she's not talking to me...
I probably did take it too far, I mustard mitt!

Stolen :lol:
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

I saw that UKIP bloke and that 'Simply The Best' singer leaving on an aeroplane together.

Farage & Tina?

No, for Brazil I think.
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

At the Olympics I saw an athlete carrying a long stick and asked him, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
He replied, "No I'm German but how do you know my name is Walter?
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johnh
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Re: The funny corner

Post by johnh »

My calculator is knackered. The x key has broken, times are hard.
I once played against Don Revie.
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the driver says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Driver: “Frank Johnson… he’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Johnson every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Driver: “Not Frank Johnson . He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros.
He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a West End star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”
Driver: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with.
And he could fix anything. Not like me -I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Johnson, he could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”
Driver: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.
But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Johnson .”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”
Driver: “I never actually met Frank. You see, several years ago Frank died, and I married his bloody wife “
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

I was in London the other day when an American tourist stopped me and asked me the best way to Selfridges...

I told him probably to put them on eBay!
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johnh
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Re: The funny corner

Post by johnh »

A married couple from the circus go to the adoption centre to see about adopting a child. During their interview they are asked if they have any preference for a boy or a girl.
They get a note pad out and read 'must be a boy, age about 10 or 11, must be of slim build.' The interviewer is a bit puzzled and asks them why they are being so specific. 'To make sure he fits in the cannon' was the reply.
I once played against Don Revie.
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