The funny corner

[dlw10]

I don't often see a joke I've not heard before! Nice one that John!

[Davycc]

A Vicar, a priest and a Rabbit go into the blood donation clinic. I think I'm a type-o says the Rabbit.

Nicking that.

[Wigan White]

I'm just back from Tesco I have to tell you this, I was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things.
The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, William, we won’t be long . . . easy boy.”
Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say : “It’s okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”
At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Granddad says again in a controlled voice : “William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay cool William.”
Well, i was really impressed, so i went outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I said to the Grandad “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad.”
“Thanks,” said the Granddad. “But I am William. This little buggers name is Kevin.

[Wigan White]

Gareth Southgate has surprised his England squad by getting Ed Sheeran to play a gig at the training ground.

He has warned them that if they don't beat Germany, Ed will play another concert in the changing room at full time and this time James Corden will be there too.

[Selby White]

Gareth Southgate has surprised his England squad by getting Ed Sheeran to play a gig at the training ground.

He has warned them that if they don't beat Germany, Ed will play another concert in the changing room at full time and this time James Corden will be there too.

[NottinghamWhite]

A man goes to a monastery wanting to become a monk and sees the Abbot who explains that they have vow of silence but you are allowed to speak once every 7 years. 7 years elapse & the now monk goes to see the Abbot who asks if there’s anything he would like to say ? Yes was his reply the beds are very uncomfortable. I’ll see what I can do says the Abbot. 7 years later he sees the Abbot again. Is there anything you’d like to say said the Abbot ? Yes was his reply the food is awful. I’ll see what I can do says the Abbot. A further 7 years elapse & the monk goes to see the Abbot. Is there anything you’d like to say. Yes said the monk I’d like to leave. Thank God for that said the Abbot cos all you’ve done since you’ve been here is moan.

[NottinghamWhite]

[yorkfan]

To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you ....................

I have contacts.

[NottinghamWhite]

[NottinghamWhite]

I met a lovely older lady last night.

Although she was 57 she was very sexy and funny.

She asked me if I fancied a Mother-Daughter threesome?

I jumped at the chance,so we went back to her place, she took out her door keys and opened the door, turned on the light.

And shouts out, "Mum are you still awake."