Found this lady on YouTube whilst searching something totally unrelated. May appeal to us older folk, I found her quite funny.
The funny corner
Re: The funny corner
All at Amazon Books
The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
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Re: The funny corner
A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine. The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan!"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan!"
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Re: The funny corner
My wife bought a new oven glove in a bright yellow colour. I kept making puns about it, and now she's not talking to me...
I probably did take it too far, I mustard mitt!
I probably did take it too far, I mustard mitt!
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Re: The funny corner
NottinghamWhite wrote:My wife bought a new oven glove in a bright yellow colour. I kept making puns about it, and now she's not talking to me...
I probably did take it too far, I mustard mitt!
Stolen
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Re: The funny corner
I saw that UKIP bloke and that 'Simply The Best' singer leaving on an aeroplane together.
Farage & Tina?
No, for Brazil I think.
Farage & Tina?
No, for Brazil I think.
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Re: The funny corner
At the Olympics I saw an athlete carrying a long stick and asked him, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
He replied, "No I'm German but how do you know my name is Walter?
He replied, "No I'm German but how do you know my name is Walter?
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Re: The funny corner
My calculator is knackered. The x key has broken, times are hard.
I once played against Don Revie.
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Re: The funny corner
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the driver says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Driver: “Frank Johnson… he’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Johnson every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Driver: “Not Frank Johnson . He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros.
He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a West End star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”
Driver: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with.
And he could fix anything. Not like me -I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Johnson, he could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”
Driver: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.
But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Johnson .”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”
Driver: “I never actually met Frank. You see, several years ago Frank died, and I married his bloody wife “
He gets into the taxi, and the driver says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Driver: “Frank Johnson… he’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Johnson every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Driver: “Not Frank Johnson . He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros.
He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a West End star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”
Driver: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with.
And he could fix anything. Not like me -I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Johnson, he could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”
Driver: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.
But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Johnson .”
Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”
Driver: “I never actually met Frank. You see, several years ago Frank died, and I married his bloody wife “
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Re: The funny corner
I was in London the other day when an American tourist stopped me and asked me the best way to Selfridges...
I told him probably to put them on eBay!
I told him probably to put them on eBay!
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Re: The funny corner
A married couple from the circus go to the adoption centre to see about adopting a child. During their interview they are asked if they have any preference for a boy or a girl.
They get a note pad out and read 'must be a boy, age about 10 or 11, must be of slim build.' The interviewer is a bit puzzled and asks them why they are being so specific. 'To make sure he fits in the cannon' was the reply.
They get a note pad out and read 'must be a boy, age about 10 or 11, must be of slim build.' The interviewer is a bit puzzled and asks them why they are being so specific. 'To make sure he fits in the cannon' was the reply.
I once played against Don Revie.