The funny corner
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- Paul Heckingbottom's career advisor
- Posts: 196
- Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 21:04
Re: The funny corner
Just saw this...
Stanley Johnson applies in writing for French citizenship
Wish he'd known about French letters 56 years ago
Stanley Johnson applies in writing for French citizenship
Wish he'd known about French letters 56 years ago
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- Paul Heckingbottom's career advisor
- Posts: 196
- Joined: 28 Apr 2019, 21:04
Re: The funny corner
Daughter floods of tears, didn't want to return to school.
Doesn't like the children,wants to stay at home.......
I said, you've got to go back..... you are the teacher!
Doesn't like the children,wants to stay at home.......
I said, you've got to go back..... you are the teacher!
- NottinghamWhite
- LUFCTALK Admin
- Posts: 31307
- Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10
- Wigan White
- Arthur Fairclough's milliner
- Posts: 2756
- Joined: 05 Aug 2011, 13:19
- Location: Wigan
Re: The funny corner
Swimming pools to reopen from 4th July, however due to the need for social distancing there will be no water in lanes 2, 4 and 6.
- Selby White
- LUFCTALK Moderator
- Posts: 17206
- Joined: 25 Mar 2012, 11:32
Re: The funny corner
Joking aside Mrs SW likes to go swimming at the local leisure centre and looked on the website.Wigan White wrote:Swimming pools to reopen from 4th July, however due to the need for social distancing there will be no water in lanes 2, 4 and 6.
Apparently you have to book in advance then shower at home before you go (not sure how they police that one), then travel there in your swimming costume.
No mention about what you wear to get home.
Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you.
Re: The funny corner
On the swimming pool topic. That old myth about the water turning green when you pee in it. Many years ago a mate slipped some green food colouring into the local pool in an eye dropper. When he swam past someone he dropped a few drops out. I must admit from the viewing gallery it was hysterical watching the reaction. He ended up getting banned as his hand was covered in it. Shouldn't laugh really.
All at Amazon Books
The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
- Selby White
- LUFCTALK Moderator
- Posts: 17206
- Joined: 25 Mar 2012, 11:32
Re: The funny corner
Last time I had a Pee in the local swimming pool the lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in
Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you.
- Wigan White
- Arthur Fairclough's milliner
- Posts: 2756
- Joined: 05 Aug 2011, 13:19
- Location: Wigan
Re: The funny corner
Selby White wrote:Joking aside Mrs SW likes to go swimming at the local leisure centre and looked on the website.Wigan White wrote:Swimming pools to reopen from 4th July, however due to the need for social distancing there will be no water in lanes 2, 4 and 6.
Apparently you have to book in advance then shower at home before you go (not sure how they police that one), then travel there in your swimming costume.
No mention about what you wear to get home.
Mrs WW went swimming about 3 times a week and can't wait for the local swimming pool to be opened again.
- NottinghamWhite
- LUFCTALK Admin
- Posts: 31307
- Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10
Re: The funny corner
I took my son out for his first drink yesterday.
Bought him a Carlsberg, which he didn’t like, so I drank it.
Then I bought him a Guinness, which he didn’t like, so I drank it.
Next, I tried him with a pint of Adnam’s, which he didn’t like either, so I drank it.
By the time we got the Scotch, I could hardly push the pram.
Bought him a Carlsberg, which he didn’t like, so I drank it.
Then I bought him a Guinness, which he didn’t like, so I drank it.
Next, I tried him with a pint of Adnam’s, which he didn’t like either, so I drank it.
By the time we got the Scotch, I could hardly push the pram.