The funny corner

[johnh]

Woman up in court for shoplifting for about the 20th time. Judge, who knew her well, sighed and asked her what she had stolen. 'A tin of peaches mi-lord'. 'How many peaches?' 'Four mi-lord'. 'Well', said the judge, 'I'm going to send you to prison for four months for each peach you stole, that's 16 months.' Her husband in the gallery shouted 'she stole a tin of peas as well'.

[johnh]

Phoned the butcher, 'do you deliver' 'No' he said, 'I've only got chicken, bacon, and mince.'

[Wigan White]

A clergyman in the USA is believed to be the first man to die as a result of following President Trump’s ill advised comments about injecting disinfectant.

His wife has been arrested and charged with causing a bleach of the priest, and domestos abuse!

[NottinghamWhite]

As a child I was subjected to cruel experiments where animal parts were grafted on to my body.



If I ever catch that scientist I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

[ChilwellWhite]

When Ken Dodd was charged with tax evasion he brought in a couple of extra Diddy Men. Diddy Pay and Diddy Chuff.

Taxi..

[NottinghamWhite]

I asked my son if he knows what a crustacean is. He said isn't that what Mr Patel was after the steamroller incident ?

[ChilwellWhite]

BREAKING NEWS...
The inventor of predictive text was injured in a traffic accident...
He's been bacon by ambience to the horse piddle.

[NottinghamWhite]

https://twitter.com/pbarca1/status/1256 ... 74080?s=21

[LAsouthcoast]

https://twitter.com/pbarca1/status/1256 ... 74080?s=21

Made me laugh that one NW.

[NottinghamWhite]