The funny corner

The place to discuss anything that isn't football or LUFC
Davycc
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Re: The funny corner

Post by Davycc »

A bloke in the pub said to me "I trained my dog to go get the paper from the shop 6 miles away!"

I said "That's a bit far fetched"


I was skiing down a tie rack when I feel down an 80 foot cravat.
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The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
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NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by NottinghamWhite »

Genie you can have two wishes
Dave: I wish I was rich
Genie : granted, what's your second wish ?
Rich : I want lots of money
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mapperleywhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by mapperleywhite »

Following the announcement that the next Dr Who will be female, it has also been revealed there will be girl daleks that say 'exfoliate, exfoliate'
Might have to take an interest in the Premier League now....
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daib0
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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 »

Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field...
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ChilwellWhite
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Re: The funny corner

Post by ChilwellWhite »

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along
very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked
him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions;
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No we have a carport, and not need one.
I mean, What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore
and put it on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
Polish Remover.
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daib0
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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 »

ChilwellWhite wrote:A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along
very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked
him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions;
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No we have a carport, and not need one.
I mean, What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore
and put it on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
Polish Remover.
:lol:
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Mr Russell
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Re: The funny corner

Post by Mr Russell »

ChilwellWhite wrote:A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along
very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked
him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions;
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No we have a carport, and not need one.
I mean, What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore
and put it on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
Polish Remover.
:clap: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Davycc
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Re: The funny corner

Post by Davycc »

“Mom, am I ugly?”
“How many times have I told you, don’t call me mom in front of people!”
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The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
Davycc
LUFCTALK Moderator
Posts: 15076
Joined: 03 Aug 2011, 18:09
Location: Location Location

Re: The funny corner

Post by Davycc »

Do flat earth believers think the world revolves around them?
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The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
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daib0
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Re: The funny corner

Post by daib0 »

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matches.

You should have seen his little face light up when he tried to walk.
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