LUFCTALK

The wife's been having disturbed nights recently.
She keeps dreaming and shouting things like "hobbit!", "Gandalf!" and "Mordor!" through the night. 
 
 
She's been Tolkien in her sleep....

The Mrs started her menstrual cycle today & she's bet me that I can't go a week without making a joke out of it.
I said "you're on!"

I bought a bottle of that new aftershave called "Breadcrumbs".
 
The birds love it

My wife asked me earlier how would I describe her. I said she's my alphabet girl. What do you mean she asked, I replied ABCDEFGHIJK, what do you mean, I replied you're Adotable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous & Hot. Aw thanks but what about IJ & K. I replied I'm Just Kidding.

NottinghamWhite wrote:My wife asked me earlier how would I describe her. I said she's my alphabet girl. What do you mean she asked, I replied ABCDEFGHIJK, what do you mean, I replied you're Adotable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous & Hot. Aw thanks but what about IJ & K. I replied I'm Just Kidding.

Brilliant. I must tell my girlfriend. Actually, on second thoughts ...

NottinghamWhite wrote:My wife asked me earlier how would I describe her. I said she's my alphabet girl. What do you mean she asked, I replied ABCDEFGHIJK, what do you mean, I replied you're Adotable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous & Hot. Aw thanks but what about IJ & K. I replied I'm Just Kidding.

I would have got as far as: Adorable, Beautiful..... and the wife would have butted in and said ' you are just kidding aren't you'.

Breaking news : once he does go Robert Mugabe will return to his native Yorkshire and his name will revert to its original spelling, ie read backwards

mapperleywhite wrote:Breaking news : once he does go Robert Mugabe will return to his native Yorkshire and his name will revert to its original spelling, ie read backwards

That's "mint"

My wife crashed the car this morning. When the police came she said the guy involved was on his mobile and eating at the time. The police advised her the guy was entitled to do what he wanted in his own conservatory