LUFCTALK

AN IRISH GHOST STORY

This story happened a while ago near Kells, County Meath, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale... it's true.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
John Reilly, a Cavan man studying in UCD, was on the side of the road hitchhiking back to Dublin on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.

John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door... only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving slowly.
John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.

Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling
everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying... and wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Reilly sobbing at the bar, one said to the other...

Look frank... there's that fooking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!

Got an email from the AA. Said that anyone travelling in bad weather conditions should take: Shovel, jump leads, torch, tow rope, blanket, sleeping bag, hot drink flask, food, warm clothing, gloves and mobile phone. I felt a bit of a prat on the bus.

johnh wrote:Got an email from the AA. Said that anyone travelling in bad weather conditions should take: Shovel, jump leads, torch, tow rope, blanket, sleeping bag, hot drink flask, food, warm clothing, gloves and mobile phone. I felt a bit of a prat on the bus.

especially when on the way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting

Parked at the side of the road, window down, lorry spraying salt etc on the road went past and most of it came through the window. 'Bloody idiot,' I shouted through gritted teeth.

Bloke goes into a bar. 'What's the WIFI password mate' he says to the barman. 'You have to buy a drink first' says the barman. OK, I'll have a pint of best. Now, what's the password. You have to buy a drink first, all lower case, no spaces, says the barman.

johnh wrote:Bloke goes into a bar. 'What's the WIFI password mate' he says to the barman. 'You have to buy a drink first' says the barman. OK, I'll have a pint of best. Now, what's the password. You have to buy a drink first, all lower case, no spaces, says the barman.

johnh wrote:Bloke goes into a bar. 'What's the WIFI password mate' he says to the barman. 'You have to buy a drink first' says the barman. OK, I'll have a pint of best. Now, what's the password. You have to buy a drink first, all lower case, no spaces, says the barman.

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyParis"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital...

johnh wrote:Bloke goes into a bar. 'What's the WIFI password mate' he says to the barman. 'You have to buy a drink first' says the barman. OK, I'll have a pint of best. Now, what's the password. You have to buy a drink first, all lower case, no spaces, says the barman.

I asked the same thing in a pub in New York a couple of years ago. He said I'll write it down for you:

"thisisapub"

It took me half a dozen attempts before I realised he was taking the mick.

Grandson said he was impressed that after nearly 60 years of marriage I still called her indoors 'love', 'darling' or 'sweetheart'. I hadn't the heart to tell him I couldn't remember her name.

The instructor on a Yoga course said that at the end of the week she was going to decide who had the worst posture and kick them off the course. When she gave the bad news to the guy at the end of the week he said 'I had a hunch it was going to be me'.