LUFCTALK

To the person who stole my shoes whilst I was on the bouncy castle, "Grow up ffs"

I have a friend who lives just outside Chernobyl in Ukraine. He watched that drama and said he counted 9 historical inaccuracies on one hand.

I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.
We took the A4.

PockWhite wrote:I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.
We took the A4.

Nicked that

An elderly couple, who were both previously widowed were preparing for their wedding overseas.

Before they walked down the aisle they went out to dinner at a fancy restaurant where they discussed how their marriage might work.

They discussed their finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to bring up the subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively.

"I would like it infrequently," the woman replied.

The man sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses then leaned over towards her and whispered: "Is that one word or two?"

I'm nicking that one

Man visits the Vicar and asks him if he can hire a Church Singing Group, The Vicar says 'you mean a choir', The man says 'sorry Vicar, can I acquire a Church Singing Group'.

johnh wrote:Man visits the Vicar and asks him if he can hire a Church Singing Group, The Vicar says 'you mean a choir', The man says 'sorry Vicar, can I acquire a Church Singing Group'.

Her indoors said it was her life's ambition to see the northern lights. She went mental when we drove into Blackpool.