The funny corner

The place to discuss anything that isn't football or LUFC

Re: The funny corner

Postby CorkWhite » 28 Sep 2019, 03:41

Davycc wrote:An American arrives in Limerick and fancies a game of golf. He goes to the local club and asks if there's anyone who could play a round with him the following day saying they'd need to be good as he's pretty handy himself.
"Sure Doyles yer man." says the fella at the bar and he calls a boy over. "Here Doyle, will ya play this fella a game of golf tomorrow?"
"Aye sure!" says Doyle, "9 o'clock tomorrow morning, though I might be half an hour late."
"That'll do" says the American.
The next morning Doyle wanders up spot on 9 o'clock with a cracking set of right handed clubs and proceeds to stuff the American.
"You gotta give me a chance to win a game tomorrow!" says the American.
"Sure," says Doyle. 9 o'clock, though I may be half an hour late!"
The next morning Doyle arrives dead on 9 o'clock this time with a full set of left handed clubs.
"I've got him now." thinks the American. "He's playing with left handed clubs.
Doyle proceeds to give the American a golfing lesson.
"Ok that's it!" says the American "You have to give me a chance tomorrow to at least win one game!"
"Well ok," say's Doyle, "9 o'clock, but I may be half an hour late!"
That night the American cant stop thinking about being beaten and the next morning Doyle is late and arrives at 9.30.
"Tell me this," starts the American, "You beat me with right handed clubs then left handed clubs. How do you decide which clubs to play with?"
"Ahh sure thats easy," says Doyle, "when I wake up if my wife is lying on her right side I use the right clubs, if she's on her left side I use the left ones."
"What if she's lying on her back?" asks the American.
"Well now, thats why I'm half an hour late!" ;)

very good Davy :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Give me a pair of binoculars, a blue bucket and a translator, then i will get you promoted.
User avatar
CorkWhite
Major Frank Buckley's monkey gland expert
 
Posts: 601
Joined: 02 May 2018, 04:43
Location: Southern Philippines

Re: The funny corner

Postby NottinghamWhite » 02 Oct 2019, 10:16

User avatar
NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK Admin
 
Posts: 24179
Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10

Re: The funny corner

Postby johnh » 02 Oct 2019, 12:24

They told me I'd never be any good at poetry because I'm dyslexic, but I've proved them wrong and made some lovely vases and jugs.
I once played against Don Revie.
User avatar
johnh
Don Revie's bingo caller
 
Posts: 6600
Joined: 24 Jan 2012, 15:26

Re: The funny corner

Postby rigger » 02 Oct 2019, 13:06

johnh wrote:They told me I'd never be any good at poetry because I'm dyslexic, but I've proved them wrong and made some lovely vases and jugs.



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Brilliant.
Nicking that one :D
If you thought that post was good, you should check out my interesting and constantly surprising blog: http://paulridgeblog.com/
User avatar
rigger
LUFCTALK Admin
 
Posts: 13257
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 17:35

Re: The funny corner

Postby NottinghamWhite » 03 Oct 2019, 07:29

Man walks into a dentist & says “I think I’m a moth”.
Dentist says “You need a doctor not a dentist”.
He says “I know but your light was on”
User avatar
NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK Admin
 
Posts: 24179
Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10

Re: The funny corner

Postby daib0 » 03 Oct 2019, 12:56

NottinghamWhite wrote:Man walks into a dentist & says “I think I’m a moth”.
Dentist says “You need a doctor not a dentist”.
He says “I know but your light was on”

:lolno:
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
User avatar
daib0
Dick Ray's Talent Spotter
 
Posts: 1821
Joined: 20 Nov 2011, 19:04
Location: Spain-England

Re: The funny corner

Postby NottinghamWhite » 11 Oct 2019, 08:18

***Warning***

Do not join the new Tesco dating service. My mate did & he ended up with a bag for life.
User avatar
NottinghamWhite
LUFCTALK Admin
 
Posts: 24179
Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10

Re: The funny corner

Postby rigger » 11 Oct 2019, 08:47

NottinghamWhite wrote:***Warning***

Do not join the new Tesco dating service. My mate did & he ended up with a bag for life.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
If you thought that post was good, you should check out my interesting and constantly surprising blog: http://paulridgeblog.com/
User avatar
rigger
LUFCTALK Admin
 
Posts: 13257
Joined: 07 Oct 2010, 17:35

Re: The funny corner

Postby mapperleywhite » 11 Oct 2019, 10:10

NottinghamWhite wrote:***Warning***

Do not join the new Tesco dating service. My mate did & he ended up with a bag for life.


:lol: :lol: :lol: borrowing that, thanks!
"Don't let activity be confused with action"
User avatar
mapperleywhite
Arthur Fairclough's milliner
 
Posts: 2874
Joined: 28 Apr 2012, 14:02

Re: The funny corner

Postby Davycc » 11 Oct 2019, 12:31

Nicked
The Thrones Murders by Glen Gormley AKA Davycc available at [url]https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1686297025[/url]
User avatar
Davycc
LUFCTALK Moderator
 
Posts: 9821
Joined: 03 Aug 2011, 18:09
Location: Wet West Britain

PreviousNext

Return to General

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Sniffer and 4 guests