The funny corner

[rigger]

If a door key opens a door and a house key opens a house. What key opens a banana?

'mon ... this is easy

[Davycc]

If a door key opens a door and a house key opens a house. What key opens a banana?

'mon ... this is easy

couldn't help it kid told me it earlier.

[cheffy007]

Harry Maguire has had his bail set at £5000. Man Utd have offered £3000 plus Phil Jones and Paul Pogba

[Davycc]

Harry Maguire has had his bail set at £5000. Man Utd have offered £3000 plus Phil Jones and Paul Pogba

[Selby White]

Harry Maguire has had his bail set at £5000. Man Utd have offered £3000 plus Phil Jones and Paul Pogba

Think they are rating Jones and Pogba a bit too high there

[Deleted User 10260]

Apparently Man Utd are getting into films and doing a remake of Escape to Victory with Harry in the starring role.

[NottinghamWhite]

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes.
I turned to a local tribesman and said, "That lizards really funny!"
The tribesman replied, "He's not a lizard. He's a stand up chameleon!"

[Davycc]

Me and the wife love a game of golf it gives us time to talk. While playing today I asked her, "if I died would would you remarry?" She said, Yes I probably would." I asked, "Would you still sleep in OUR bed" and she said "Yes probably) THen I asked would you let him use my clubs?" She said "No, sure he's left handed!!!!!"

[cheffy007]

I started a jigsaw a couple of weeks into lockdown. Finally finished it today. It only took me 9 weeks, not bad as it said 2-4 years on the box.

[Selby White]

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!"