The funny corner
- NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner
It’s just cost me a pound that’s one whole English pound to put some air in my tyres. Used to be twenty pence, suppose that’s inflation for you.
Winner of the Europa League
Re: The funny corner
What do you say to someone struggling with grammar? There, their, they're.
I once played against Don Revie.
- ChilwellWhite
- Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
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Re: The funny corner
Started a new job at the Samaritans last week.
Tried to ring in sick this morning & they talked me out of it!
Tried to ring in sick this morning & they talked me out of it!
- ChilwellWhite
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Re: The funny corner
A fancy sports car pulled up next to me driven by a sheep in a swimsuit, turned out it was a lamb bikini
- NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner
I never had a good school report, so you can imagine how happy I was when HM revenue and customs got in touch to tell me my tax returns were outstanding.
Winner of the Europa League
- NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner
Bloke goes into the electric shop and says ‘I need a battery so I can tell the time’
Assistant says ‘Is it for a clock?’
‘I don’t know’ says the bloke ‘that’s why I need a battery’
Assistant says ‘Is it for a clock?’
‘I don’t know’ says the bloke ‘that’s why I need a battery’
Winner of the Europa League
Re: The funny corner
Pinched both of these. ![Clapping :clap:](./images/smilies/icon_clap.gif)
![Clapping :clap:](./images/smilies/icon_clap.gif)
- ChilwellWhite
- Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
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Re: The funny corner
I’m slowly getting over my obsession with Tipperary but there's a long way to go!
- NottinghamWhite
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Re: The funny corner
A lawer representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client, “John, I have some good news and some bad news”.
The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first”
The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me she invested £5,000 in two pictures and that she thinks will bring a minimum of £15-20 million. I think she could be right”
John replied enthusiastically, “Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You’ve made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad new. What is it?”
The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you naked with your secretary”
The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first”
The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me she invested £5,000 in two pictures and that she thinks will bring a minimum of £15-20 million. I think she could be right”
John replied enthusiastically, “Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You’ve made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad new. What is it?”
The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you naked with your secretary”
Winner of the Europa League
- ChilwellWhite
- Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
- Posts: 4868
- Joined: 29 Dec 2014, 18:12
Re: The funny corner
Nicked that ^