The funny corner
- NottinghamWhite
- LUFCTALK Admin
- Posts: 31307
- Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10
Re: The funny corner
Ive just heard my friend Gav passed away this morning, serious heartburn. I just can't believe Gaviscon.
Winner of the Europa League
Re: The funny corner
lolNottinghamWhite wrote:Ive just heard my friend Gav passed away this morning, serious heartburn. I just can't believe Gaviscon.
All at Amazon Books
The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
Re: The funny corner
To build my confidence following another break-up, I went to the local shopping centre and surveyed a hundred passing women around my age with the question "Do you find me attractive ?"
I produced the pie chart below from the answers :
I produced the pie chart below from the answers :
- daib0
- Dick Ray's Talent Spotter
- Posts: 1847
- Joined: 20 Nov 2011, 19:04
- Location: Spain-England
- Contact:
Re: The funny corner
rigger wrote:To build my confidence following another break-up, I went to the local shopping centre and surveyed a hundred passing women around my age with the question "Do you find me attractive ?"
I produced the pie chart below from the answers :
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
- NottinghamWhite
- LUFCTALK Admin
- Posts: 31307
- Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10
Re: The funny corner
While in China, a man is sexually promiscuous and does very not use a condom all the time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with
bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before,
orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of
days later and the doctor says, 'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very
rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it. '
The man looks a little perplexed and says, 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc. "
The doctor answers, 'I' m sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis. '
The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion. "
The doctor replies, 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only choice. "
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring he'll did know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease. "
The guy says to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American
doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis! '
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. 'Stupid American docttah, always want to opawate.
Make more money dat way. No need to amputate! '
Oh, Thank God! ' the man replies.
'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'wait two weeks. Faw off by itself! '
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with
bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before,
orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of
days later and the doctor says, 'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very
rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it. '
The man looks a little perplexed and says, 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc. "
The doctor answers, 'I' m sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis. '
The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion. "
The doctor replies, 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only choice. "
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring he'll did know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease. "
The guy says to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American
doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis! '
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. 'Stupid American docttah, always want to opawate.
Make more money dat way. No need to amputate! '
Oh, Thank God! ' the man replies.
'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'wait two weeks. Faw off by itself! '
Winner of the Europa League
- PockWhite
- Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
- Posts: 5990
- Joined: 21 Jan 2010, 17:30
- Location: 54 Canal Street
Re: The funny corner
My wife left me last week because of my obsession with horoscopes.
It literally Taurus apart.
It literally Taurus apart.
- NottinghamWhite
- LUFCTALK Admin
- Posts: 31307
- Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10
Re: The funny corner
My girlfriend laughed at me when I said I had a car made of spaghetti. You should've seen her face as I drove pasta.
Winner of the Europa League
- PockWhite
- Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
- Posts: 5990
- Joined: 21 Jan 2010, 17:30
- Location: 54 Canal Street
Re: The funny corner
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
It's impossible to put down!
- NottinghamWhite
- LUFCTALK Admin
- Posts: 31307
- Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10
Re: The funny corner
My wife's obsessed with her new tropical juice diet. It's enough to make a mango crazy.
Winner of the Europa League