Talking about the amazing developments in health care of late -
A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so, so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."
The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in only 4 weeks he is looking for a job."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and you know, we're so strong that in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."
The American doctor laughs: "But you are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now... the whole country is going to have to look for a job!"
The funny corner
- NottinghamWhite
- LUFCTALK Admin
- Posts: 31307
- Joined: 11 Nov 2009, 10:10
Re: The funny corner
Winner of the Europa League
- daib0
- Dick Ray's Talent Spotter
- Posts: 1847
- Joined: 20 Nov 2011, 19:04
- Location: Spain-England
- Contact:
Re: The funny corner
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
- PockWhite
- Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
- Posts: 5990
- Joined: 21 Jan 2010, 17:30
- Location: 54 Canal Street
Re: The funny corner
I'm planning to go on dragons den during 2019, with my modern glass coffin design.
Whether they like it or not remains to be seen.
Whether they like it or not remains to be seen.
- PockWhite
- Howard Wilkinson's military attaché
- Posts: 5990
- Joined: 21 Jan 2010, 17:30
- Location: 54 Canal Street
Re: The funny corner
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer ?
Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
Re: The funny corner
A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own Clinic and puts a sign outside ;-
'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American Lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the Clinic.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of Taste.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.'
Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is Kerosene.'
Chinese: 'Congrats, your sense of Taste is restored. Give me $20 dolla.'
The annoyed Lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my Memory. I cannot remember anything.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.'
Lawyer (annoyed): 'This is Kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my Taste.'
Chinese: 'Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20 dolla.'
The fuming Lawyer pays him and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: 'My Eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.'
Chinese: 'Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100 dolla.'
Lawyer (staring at the note): 'But this is $20, not $100"...
Chinese: 'Congrats muddafucka, your Eyesight is restored. Give me another $20 dolla'
'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American Lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the Clinic.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of Taste.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.'
Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is Kerosene.'
Chinese: 'Congrats, your sense of Taste is restored. Give me $20 dolla.'
The annoyed Lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my Memory. I cannot remember anything.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.'
Lawyer (annoyed): 'This is Kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my Taste.'
Chinese: 'Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20 dolla.'
The fuming Lawyer pays him and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: 'My Eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.'
Chinese: 'Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100 dolla.'
Lawyer (staring at the note): 'But this is $20, not $100"...
Chinese: 'Congrats muddafucka, your Eyesight is restored. Give me another $20 dolla'
All at Amazon Books
The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
The Funny Corner
When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney
The Thrones Murders
- daib0
- Dick Ray's Talent Spotter
- Posts: 1847
- Joined: 20 Nov 2011, 19:04
- Location: Spain-England
- Contact:
Re: The funny corner
I've been told that my grammar is very poor but I don't believe them. Only last week she gave me £20
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
- daib0
- Dick Ray's Talent Spotter
- Posts: 1847
- Joined: 20 Nov 2011, 19:04
- Location: Spain-England
- Contact:
Re: The funny corner
Funny ... but true!!
Pete O'Rourke @SportsPeteO
Fulham manager Claudio Ranieri has revealed defender Alfie Mawson injured himself while putting on his boots. #FFC
Pete O'Rourke @SportsPeteO
Fulham manager Claudio Ranieri has revealed defender Alfie Mawson injured himself while putting on his boots. #FFC
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
- daib0
- Dick Ray's Talent Spotter
- Posts: 1847
- Joined: 20 Nov 2011, 19:04
- Location: Spain-England
- Contact:
Re: The funny corner
I'm organising a party for people who can't reach an orgasm, so if you can't come let me know ...
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
-
- George Graham's Crombie cleaner
- Posts: 315
- Joined: 18 Jan 2017, 17:26
Re: The funny corner
leeds fan is spotted at the top of this hill in scumchester by 100 scum fans.
tell you what said the scum lets go beat him up, so they sent 10 of their number up t'hill
an hour goes by and none of them return....a bit puzzled they then sent another 20 to finish him off.......but an hour later they failed to come back too.
right said one of them, lets send 50 more.....finally after 2 hours just one of them came back all battered and bruised.
whats up said the rest.....oh groaned the scum fan
it was an ambush......there were 2 of them
tell you what said the scum lets go beat him up, so they sent 10 of their number up t'hill
an hour goes by and none of them return....a bit puzzled they then sent another 20 to finish him off.......but an hour later they failed to come back too.
right said one of them, lets send 50 more.....finally after 2 hours just one of them came back all battered and bruised.
whats up said the rest.....oh groaned the scum fan
it was an ambush......there were 2 of them
Re: The funny corner
The staff at our local Tesco's must be poor quality. I used the self-scan and won employee of the month.
I once played against Don Revie.